Buffalohair ALICE’S REVENGE

ALICE’S REVENGE

Alice was snickering to herself as she left the Social Security office. “Soon it will all be over”, she said to herself as she waked out of the office.

Meanwhile back in the Social Security Office the employees were examining the “Holiday Gift” this old woman dropped off at the office. It was wrapped up in aluminum foil and decorated in the traditional ribbons and bows. It even had a “Santa” card affixed to it.

Nearing their morning break one of the interviewers decided to open this package. To her joy it was filled with delicious chocolate brownies. “How sweet, look the old woman brought us s plate full of brownies, Yum Yum” she exclaimed to the rest of the staff. Then proceeded to get s few of the choice pieces of the delectable holiday treat.

One of the ladies said, “Better be careful girls, this is not on the Atkins Plan. Oh what the heck, it is the holiday season” And with this justification the whole staff converged on the innocent platter of brownies.

Like a pack of wolves descending on a mortally wounded deer the women assaulted the tray and in moments the brownies were gone. “It was nice of the ole girl to bring us some holiday cheer in spite of the fact we reduced her benefits” the youngest of the office workers said with an air of sarcasms.

The coffee pot was empty and was a sign that break time was over. The ladies returned to work and began receiving clients once again. Things went on as normal for the first half hour then one of the ladies queried, “Is it just me or does it seem like time is going slower or something? I sure am hungry and it’s still an hour and a half till lunch”

Another girl chirped, “Lets order a pizza”. Then the security guard volunteered to run to 7-11 for a box of Miss Debbies chocolate cookies. The office manager instructed the guard that he must also bring back a “few” burritos as well as a diet Coke. With the Atkins Diet lost in memory all the office employees were caught up in a feeding frenzy of sorts. Everything looked delicious even that power bar nobody has eaten in months was devoured with no prejudice. Its wrapper was all that remained.

By noon the office was well into the holiday spirit as employees were singing and dancing to Phil Collins and Peter Cetera. 3 empty buckets of KFC enjoined the countless Dominos Pizza boxes that covered the floor of the Social Security Office. It was an ocean of wrappers, empty soda cans, pizza crusts and chicken bones.

One gal was clutching a dog eared poster of Favio weeping uncontrollable. She was rambling on about him fathering all her children. Another gal was making paper airplanes out of customer claim forms and tossing them out the window. Even the security guard was sitting in the corner with the office manager confiding in her about his feminine side while munching down his 9th burrito.

Then the tone became real quite while Helen Reddy was playing on the office radio. As the song built up to the crescendo the gals in the office sang at the top of their lungs, “I AM WOMAN!!!!” And a shower of Bras an one pair of cotton bloomers flew out every window of the Social Security Office descending onto the lunch hour traffic below causing a major pile up.

As the emergency services responded to the incident, across the street in the seniors bus huddled a group of grannies. Eglantine was passing the binoculars back and forth as the old gals snickered. An octogenarian named Alice stuck her frail hand out the window of the bus and gave the one fingered salute and said, “Put that in your pipe and smoke it”

“Don’t you mean brownies?” another gal quipped. The grannies broke into uncontrollable laughter. Then the bus load of grannies broke out into song, “You can get anything you want at Alice’s restaurant”

Sliding a Bob Marley CD into the player and the shifter into drive, Eglantine looked over at the chaotic event that was transpiring at the Social Security Office. Then she said in a serious mono tone voice, “Pay backs are a bitch”. She pointed the bus towards the senior’s center and sped off.

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind